She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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