He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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