Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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