Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
