Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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