About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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