so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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