i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
