Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize