so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
