12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I didn't notice because vodka
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
