I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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