Its about making memories worth repressing
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
