Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
