I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
