dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
