Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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