He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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