every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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