sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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