I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
