You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
