the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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