yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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