is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
