He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
