her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize