Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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