Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
