Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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