Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
