I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is my gift to your gina
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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