I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
