So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
