When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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