I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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