Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
