My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
