a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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