If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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