She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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