Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
