Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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