You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
