i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
