hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
