I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
