His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I cut my penus on the lid.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
