It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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