I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
