Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
