; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
