How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
