dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
