What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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