Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
