It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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