you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
