His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
