Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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