Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
