She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
