Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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