he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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