he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
smell my finger.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
