JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
