Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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