im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
