as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
