oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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