as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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